Why I hate United Airlines: Part I in a series

I'm nearing hour 43 of my return trip from Anchorage to Salt Lake City, via San Francisco and Los Angeles. I'm writing from the Alaska Airlines Board Room at LAX. For those of you following this saga, you might be aware that no, I wasn't supposed to set foot in LA. See, it goes something like this. I was scheduled on UA 700, departing ANC at 2330 on June 26 for DEN, connecting to UA 141, departing DEN at 0825 on 27 June.

Well, UA 700 was indefinitely delayed for mechanical: apparently on an A320, there are two fans that cool avionics, a minimum of one of them is necessary to fly the plane, and neither was in working order. The gate agent was quite clear that it was distinctly possible that the plane was not going to go out that night, and that passengers would be lucky to get seats on UA 736 ANC-SFO the next day, and possibly even lucky to get re-booked on the next night's UA 700 flight. This was due in some part to the fact that an American Airlines (which TGS and I know better as Aerolineas Stalinsta) flight had already canceled for mechanical, and most of those passengers had already be re-booked on UA 700. She cheerily capped off this bad news by informing us that hotel rooms are exceedingly difficult to come by in the summer in Anchorage, and so hotel vouchers would be very unlikely.

So I called United Premier reservations and asked them what they thought I should do, and they quickly and easily re-booked me on UA 736 ANC-SFO departing at 1409 (notably, still in First,) and UX 6356 SFO-SLC departing 2101. I then (easily) got a hotel room for the night, and took a taxi back into midtown Anchorage. While this definitely was the correct decision at the time, let's just say that hindsight is 20/20. So UA 736 left ANC an hour and a half late, and I only had an hour and ten minute margin between the flights. Then, UX 6356 left SFO on time, and so I missed it by about fifteen minutes. I found out at a check-in terminal that UA's genius computers (note the dripping sarcasm) had already re-booked me: to fly out the next day, and connect through LAX, and arrive home around 2100. No, not on either of the TWO daily nonstops that UA and UX (United Express/Skywest) operate from SFO to SLC, nor on any of the SEVEN nonstop flights that Delta and Skywest operate to SLC.

I had a lovely half hour to forty minute wait in line at the United Customer Service counter, where they told me that there was not a single seat available on ANY of the abovementioned NINE nonstop flights to SLC, and that my current re-booked itinerary was definitely the best I would get. They did print out hotel and meal vouchers, telling me that the Crown Plaza in Foster City has a free shuttle every twenty minutes. Not wanting to miss the opportunity to get real food at a real (i.e., non-airport) restaurant, I went straight out to the curb, where I proceeded to stand with about seventeen other stranded passengers from UA 736. We all waited just under an hour for the shuttle to show up. While the check-in was friendly and easy at Crown Plaza (print, sign, date, endorse voucher, get handed keycard) this put us just a little bit past 11pm, which in the suburbia that is Foster City, means EVERYTHING was closed. Not only the hotel restaurants and all nearby chain restaurants, but also the Pizza Smut delivery service. (Who in the hell stops pizza delivery service at 10pm on a weeknight, and 11pm on Friday and Saturday?)

Note that in the midst of all this, my BIL, CKI, was very kindly willing to make the miserable drive from the east bay to come get my sorry ass if I couldn't get a hotel voucher. When I did get hotel vouchers, I opted to stick with them rather than inconvenience CKI and CLI, since I would have also needed an early morning drive to a BART station today. In retrospect, while I immensely appreciate CKI's willingness to come get me, it would have sucked for them.

For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of visiting Foster City, California, at least for anything but ingress and egress to the San Mateo bridge, it epitomizes lifeless, sterile, boring suburbia. Not only were no restaurants open, there was literally not a single convenience store open anywhere within eyesight or reasonable walking distance. Now looking at google maps, the nearest convenience store is 1.2 miles SE of the hotel.

By sheer luck, I still had an orange and a small bag of chips in my carryon, and so this, together with a cliff bar and a cup of chamomile tea, made for dinner.

So here I sit, in the Alaska Board Room at LAX, looking out at the planes lining up to depart, and landing regularly. Apparently all of this hassle was caused by the weather in the central and eastern US, especially in Chicago. You wouldn't know it by looking at the departures board at LAX, though SFO was basically in complete chaos. One woman in particular was hysterical (and idiotic, and hideously annoying.) She was quite literally yelling at a CS agent at my gate at SFO (gate 69 this morning awaiting the departure of UA 1179, in case any frequent flyers reading this are curious) about how waiting for five hours was totally unacceptable, and her time is "precious" and that they MUST put her on the next available flight to NYC. Apparently she has a concrt to go to tomorrow. From what I could glean, she had been IDB'd (involuntarily denied boarding) albeit along with 53 other people. Well, miss, I got news for you: I'm hoping that my return flight from ANC to SLC doesn't end up taking much more than 48 hours. I don't have a lot of sympathy for your five hour delay.

This is, once again, confirmation that jumping ship from UA to AS as my primary airline was the right choice: when your planes don't require regular trips to ORD, DEN, and Dulles, east coat weather doesn't much matter.

Well, hopefully in a few hours, I'll board a vaguely on-time flight LAX-SLC, and get back to SLC for four nights before we drive to Seattle. Cross your fingers. Meanwhile, the Alaska Board Room is treating me right: two Alaskan Ambers, and a maragrita. Yum.

Confidential to TGS

Now THIS is what I'm talkin' about: the Alaska Board Room in Anchorage serves Glacier IPA (and Blonde) in addition to Alaskan Amber. Guess which one I'm on my second glass of? It's making my very delayed deparfture from ANC much more acceptable.

Now notes to everyone: I'm sure glad I have ditched United in favor of Alaska. Not only does it turn out that United is stopping year-round service to ANC, something I didn't know when I made the decision, but when you take a delay, you are basically screwed until you get lucky. My 2330 flight last night was delayed until almost 2 this morning, and the gate agent was clear that she really didn't know if it would go out last night at all, and that most connections were probably trashed, and further, that ANC in the summer is very difficult to get hotel rooms in, so hotel vouchers would likely be worthless. To top it all off, the only thing they could possibly have done for us, meal vouchers, would have to be used with no vegan food in sight in the ANC airport (and an already closed Board Room.)

So I did the smart thing and called UA's premier line, and got myself rebooked on a 1409 flight today, and (easily) booked a room at Qupqugiaq for $69. Well, it seemed like the smart thing, and while it did get me a good night's sleep and a nice lunch at Middle Way, now my 1409 departure (UA 736) is delayed until 1445, which likely blows my connection to SLC, on UX 6356, which is the last flight of the night SFO-SLC. Getting ugly, friends and neighbors, getting ugly. To top it all off, I'd really like to get to my dentist appointment tomorrow morning at 10:30 to have a cavity filled. Oh well: we do our best, and United Airlines just does a little less. Or sometimes, a lot less.

Confidential to CLI & CKI: will be calling very soon to possibly crash for a night.

Back to working changing address and phone on various things to ANC. YAY!

As soon as I'm home, I'm not

After a luxurious three and a half days at home, and the delight of being with J again, I'm back in an airport. I'm at SFO, which at the end of the day will be my third of four airports en route to Anchorage. ANCHORAGE! Makes me happy.

Going mostly to hang out with TGS, and also to open a PO box, and possibly do a little bit of house hunting.

I keep promising some pictures of Australia, and I'm going to try to sit here and process a bunch of them. I'm realizing that I mostly took pictures of food, which seems appropriate, given that food is most of what I dealt with while on ship.

Okay -- back to pictures, and my cold pint of Alaskan Amber!

All's well that ends well

My second to last full day on ship; I'll be taking an early (~6:30am) airport shuttle Monday morning, and flying for approximately sixteen hours through four airports to return home on Monday evening. (That crazy little interntional date line!)

I've been astonished, once again, at how preposterously expensive some things are in Australia. Examples:
* paint roller covers: AUD$11.80 (USD$9.91)
* four liters (roughly a gallon) of standard interior semi-gloss paint: AUD$70 (USD$58.80)
* blue 3M painter's masking tape, for a 1" wide roll? AU$18!!! (USD$15.11)
* And AUD$28 (USD$23.50) for a 2" roll!

Absolutely, totally, completely asinine, and utterly indefensible.

Working out some last minute travel issues, and getting ready to spend most of an entire day on planes and in airports.

Very likely this will be my last post from Australia, so images should soon follow. See some of you soon!

More carpentry...

is what I've been up to for the last few days, a welcome relief from the galley before I depart. I helped complete some demolition, then laid laminate (pergo) flooring in another cabin, went out and bought molding, and cut and tagged it all today. Tomorrow we start prepping for painting, and possibly begin painting on Sunday before I fly out on Monday morning, early. Big times.

My thoughts about leaving are little different than when I posted a week or so ago: complicated. I'm eager to return home and get some stuf done, and then begin the process of moving to Alaska, but (only) slightly sad to be leaving the ship.

I'm on dish rota today, meaning I do everyone's common dishes from eating meals and snacks in between. It's a funny thing: I'm actually happy to be doing a dozen or so plates or bowls, associated flatware, and glasses, at a time, compared to doing the heavy-duty, burnt-on, baked-on cookware dishes of the galley.

I'm also quite excited to go to AK and see TGS, and do some scoping out for the move. Banal stuff, but critical: cell phones, a PO box, looking at houses, etc.

More may or may not follow before I fly out on Monday morning. I'll definitely try to post some thoughts, and lots of photos, when I return to Utah.

Coming soon...

to the intermountain west. I'm short here, only four more whole days, and a couple of half days. As my time draws nigh, I've moved back to non-galley crew, to get more flooring and carpentry done. I spent all day laying another cabin's worth of pergo-type laminate flooring, and tomorrow afternoon when a "shore crew" member comes with her car, will go to buy molding for both cabins, and lay that.

The little things seem larger or smaller, as my time (in this stint) draws to a close. Already, I'm thinking about the next stint, hopefully to Antarctica. About what to pack: more batteries, and what not to pack: shampoo (the ships has heaps of organic shampoo that has been donated.) About what snacks to bring (more chocolate!) About books to bring. About ways to stay in better shape (yoga.) About digital photography equipment that is needed, and not.

Soon!

Closing time...

Lately, my mind has been largely occupied with thoughts of returning to the states. Finishing our renovations, packing, staying in a hotel for a few nights, driving to Seattle, time there with J while she trains for her new job, possible travel, ferry to Alaska, and settling in to Anchorage.

We're actively looking for housing, both short and long-term. Our hope is to buy again, and we're looking around. We'll see. It sure would be nice to have a home that wasn't built in 1912 with brick frame construction and now-crumbling plaster on lath construction.

I'm so looking forward to going back to Alaska. It always has this draw for me. But then, so does Arizona, and parts of California. I have lots of projects on the middle and back burners for Alaska, and can't wait to get started.

Leftovers!

I has discovered something important: if I put out one or two freshly cooked dishes, and one or two leftovers, the leftovers get shunned by the crew. I can't say I blame them -- I'd do exactly the same thing. So I had their number today for lunch: I put out ALL leftovers. cream of broccoli soup, mashed potatoes, stir fry, chili, green curry, baked pasta, and applesauce. Oh, and rice, which wasn't a leftover.

Dinner was more leftovers, of a sort: fresh bread popovers, filled with the stir fry vegetables and chili, and some with rice and curry, and some with just curry. Also salad, and banana peanut butter cream pie, and banana oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.

Yesterday lunch was wraps with roasted and sauteed vegetables, veggies, and spinach salad. Dinner was stir fry with TVP, rice, and salad.

Alaska looms large on the horizon, and much travel is ahead. I was granted MVP status on Alaska Airlines due to my status with United, and now I have to fly 20k miles this year to maintain it for next year. A vicious cycle, indeed. Of course, it's well worth it to be able to pre-book exit row seats on Alaska, which I'll be flying a lot in and out of ANC.

We're looking for housing options for ANC for when we arrive (around July 27.) The rough plan is to sublet or arrange something temporary while we look to buy. I guess we didn't learn our lesson about home ownership. I think we did, however, learn our lesson about old houses. Fortunately, relatively little housing in Anchorage is 95 years old (at least housing we'd seriously consider.)

Back to e-mails now...

More notes on food

Today's lunch: mashed potatoes with carmelized onions, fresh sage, and spices (mustard powder, cayenne, and cumin.) Fresh guacamole. String beans sauteed with soy sauce and "hot chili" sauce. Salad with mandarins and red bell peppers.

I'm hoping to have the energy this afternoon to make the passionfruit banana muffins (though I might just make a cake out of it if I can't find any muffin pans.)

I'm at the Mission for the second time in two days, which is a little unusual, but I've felt a greater need lately to keep in touch. On which not, I'm going to try to call J, and then get back to the ship for a quick pre-dinner-cooking nap.

Super quickie food update

Since I know you all hang on the edge of your seats waiting to hear the vegan food I've pulled off on ship with crappy cooktops, one totally unpredictable oven that works, and 99% donated food, here is tonight's update:

Vegan pizza, with fresh dough, and fun fixins: carmelized onions, sauteed mushrooms, green onions; one with pesto and one with tomato. Also, another with pesto, and all the above good stuff, but with a bunch of hot peppers. YUM!

Power, water, and so on...

So we had a power outtage (necessary due to some wiring that needed to be upgraded) for a day and a half, which also affects the fresh water. It was almost eerily quiet on ship. I was on watch from 8pm to midnight the day we didn't have power, and the ship felt like a cemetary. The lack of power also kept us from getting started laying some flooring, though myself and a new crew member finished that task today, with only molding and some cleanup remaining to be done. Looks pretty good, though when you deal with 99% donated tools, you just have to accept the best you can do.

As I haven't been in the galley for two days while doing flooring, few things to report there. The last dinner I did met with great enthusiasm from the crew: penne pasta with sauteed mushrooms, onions, tomatoes, and broccoli; mashed potatoes with carmelized onions and lots and lots of fresh sage (so much it turned fairly green); and spinach salad with fresh veggies. Not sure about tomorrow, but probably something potato based. I'm kind of tempted to do potato latkes and applesauce, since it's fun, deep fried, easily veganized, and we have all the ingredients. Now that I've found the slicing and grating attachments for the food processor, doing large amounts of grating and slicing and dicing are vastly more pleasant. I actually have calluses built up on my palms from cutting with knives.

I met a couple of really fantastic people from Melbourne Food Not Bombs, and plan to go cook and serve with them on Monday night. Should be fun and interesting: I'll report more afterwards.

Last night I read a roughly 300 page book from start to finish in four hours, including time to dish up and eat my dinner. Not a particularly good book, mind you, or a challenging one: Pacific Vortex, by Clive Cussler. But it moved fast enough, and wasn't too ridiculous, such that about 150 pages in, I decided to just go straight through to the (lame and fairly predictable) finish.

Home, soon... while I'm excited about it, it's a bit odd to think of going back to the states in less than three weeks. It's interesting how quickly one can become accustomed to life on ship, and life away from home, and life in radically new environments. Not that I don't miss J every single day: I do. But just how you can find a home away from home, and lonliness; things to keep busy, and time fillers; quiet spaces, and social spaces; routines, and random interactions; expectations, and coping mechanisms when those expectations aren't realized.

Confidential to TGS: thinking about you.

I really don't:

have anything against personally cauliflower. But like anything, in sufficient excess, I just get sick as hell of it. It seems like, for some odd reason, that every donation in the last week has brought cauliflower. I can't explain it. But I've stuffed cauliflower into practically all of the last six meals, and I am, persnally, sick as hell of it.

The last four days of meals:

Wednesday:
LUNCH: veggie burgers; tofu burgers; string beans sauteed with garlic; salad; bread
DINNER: enchiladas with tofu, yellow bell peppers, onions, and sauteed mushrooms; fresh bread, salad

Thursday:
LUNCH: miso soup with onion and tofu; sauteed broccoli with garlic; baked butternut squash with soy sauce annd chili sauce
DINNER: chili; fresh bread; deep fried potato chips; salad with fresh croutons (thanks, mama!)

Friday:
LUNCH: stuffed peppers with rice, onions, garlic, and butternut squash; deep fried french fries; salad with croutons; and fresh canteeloupe juice
DINNER: cream of broccoli soup; stuffed mushroom caps; fresh bread; homemade hummus

Saturday:
LUNCH: fusilli pasta with sauteed broccoli, cauliflower, and garlic; garlic bread; fresh gaucamole; (leftoveer) stuffed mushrooms
DINNER: stir fry with with broccoli, cauliflower, tomatoes, and both rice and noodles; salad; fresh bread; fried veggie chips -- potatoes, sweet potatoes, and parsnips

A good few days, I think, and judging from crew response. Every day, I wake up in the morning, and lay in my bunk thinking about what to make that day. Tomorrow, to be cliche, is a new day. We'll see.

More soon!

Food update:

After all, what else matters?

Today for dinner I made a gigantic pot of chili, and salad, and sauteed onions
with fresh sage leaves donated from a school tour group's garden, and baked two loaves of whole wheat bread.

Now I have to get back to the ship and get to sleep so I can cook tomorrow' food. I'm thinking about boring lunch (veggie burgers) and dinner remains unknown.

So much water around us...

...yet none in the ship. Yeah, so, we ran out of water. The other ship left port for a campaign against illegal whaling in Iceland, and in the days leading up to their departure, much water was consumed. Wednesday night, I got back late from a live music show, and tried to clean up some dishes in the galley around 2am. There has been minimal, and then zero, drinking water since. We're re-filling it, but it takes a LOOOOONG time, and then time to re-pressurize the tanks.

So my life in the galley has been challenging, to say the least. Not only is it damn difficult to cook for six to twelve people without water, it's surprising how quickly you can use every clean dish and utensil, even in a large galley. Last night was leftover surprise night, basically just about anything I could heat up in the microwave without needing more pots and pans. Needless to say, I wasn't thrilled with what I was able to put out.

Well, enough complaining for now. Really, things are challenging, but not bad: after a lovely hot shower at the Y, and free wireless, and clean clothes, I have to get back to the ship. More soon!

Cooking up a vegan storm

Some notes on recent dishes, per request (you know who you are!)

• chili with kidney beans and navy beans, and rice/tofu burgers ground up, with celery, onion, and carrot.
  
• garlic bread with fresh garlic slices and 'nuttelex' (vegan butter subtitute)
  
• numerous salads, usually with spinach and/or salad greens, and various fresh vegetables
  
• fresh squeezed juice in our crazy expensive, fancy (donated) juicer
  

Upcoming dishes, from my random notes in my notebook, based on the donated vegan ingredients available:

• deep fried tofu
  
• bean dip
  
• nachos, with beans, onions, and sauteed tofu chunks
  
• pita wraps with roasted vegetables
  
• home-made chips (sweet potato; potato; parsnip, etc.)
  
• more fresh squeezed juice
  
• lots of fresh lemon juice from a case of donated lemons
  
• mixed fruit sorbet; tangerine sorbet (pureed fruit, sugar, lemon juice, and a small bit of water, frozen, and re-blended in the food processor for consistency)
  
• potato leek soup
  
• home fried potatoes
  
• chocolate chip cookies
  
• stir fry, with tofu, and rice or crispy noodles, depending on my whim
  
• rice pudding
  
• more chili
  
• muesli bars
  
• coffeecake
  
• deep fried polenta
  
• home made salsa
  
• fruitcake (really, it needn't be just a disgusting holiday joke!)
  
• pies: apple; tangerine; etc.
  
• carrotcake
  

The weather is turning a little grey and rainy, but life aboard ship remains fine. More later!

Sometimes life gets in the way

Today is A's birthday; I'm drinking a Guinness Extra Stout out of a Heinekin glass in the Mission to Seafarers to celebrate. I plan to try to track down something better this afternoon to properly celebrate. If I'm lucky, perhaps a Little Creatures, or Red Oak Boutique Beer Cafe.

I'm now the chief cook on the Robert Hunter, however dubious a distinction that is. 100% vegan. 98% of the food is donated, and when I cook, I keep saying to myself 'you have to play the cards you're dealt, you have to play the cards that you're dealt.' Today's lunch was chili, garlic bread, fruit salad, and leftover spinach salad with "rocket" (a.k.a. arugalu) from dinner last night. Tonight's dinner is sweet potato fries (we have a commercial deep fat fryer!) and possibly vegan pizza, if I get off my ass and go get some sugar for proofing the dough.

As usual...

Spent the last few days doing carpentry, moving steel, and cooking. Today I spent much of the day cutting and cooking down apples to applesauce and for use as an egg substitute.

I've showered twice in five days, which seems a bit of a luxury now, but is amusing relative to showering daily at home.

I'm sitting at the Mission to Seafarers, drinking a AUD$3.50 Guinness Extra Stout, quite a good price by local standards.

Today I rode a beater bicycle to pick up our organic groceries donation, as I do almost every day, and it struck me how nice it is to be able to leave ship every day as I do.

Need to finish this up now, and get back to the ship for a good night of sleep, before a long day tomorrow.

Routines

It's interesting to me how adaptable people are. I've been on the ship for just a day over two weeks as of today, and it basically feels like living in a home situation. Well, not really, and I miss J immensely, but what I mean is that it feels like... just the place that I live.

I have a pretty basic and standard routine. I wake up most every morning by 7:15am, a little earlier if I'm going to cook a hot breakfast for the crew (usually home fries or pancakes; and/or juicing a lot of the fresh fruit we get donated.) I put out breakfast when it's my day to do so (currently I'm still able to rotate this with the other two cooks on board.) I then ride the bike that I put the exceptionally rickety milk crate on (tearing up my finger) to Flinders Organics, where they are exceptionally generous and give us a daily food donation at 9am. I ride this back to the ship, and working with another cook, prepare lunch. Clean up, and then I have a couple of hours I can take off to shower, check e-mail, go over to the other ship to do carpentry (which is nearly done) or bake/cook some special dessert. Then prep for dinner begins around 3pm, is served at 6, and generally cleaned up by 7pm. Unless I have a watch shift, the rest of the night is mine, and is often spent hanging around in the crew lounge, or reading, or playing Maelstrom, and occasionally doing laundry (the tea towels for the galley.)

The daily trip to the organic grocery is a bit tiring, since I have to wake up earlier than I otherwise would on days that I don't have to prepare breakfast, and I have to brave the rude and distracted Melbourne drivers, like the jackass this morning in the 'ute' delivery vehicle that very nearly ran me over TWICE while he was texting on his cell phone on a busy central Melbourne street. But it does get me off ship every day, which is really nice, and reminds me of the world off of the ship.

I just had a lovely hot shower at the YMCA, and have the rest of the day off. Unlike my only other day off so far, when I foolishly hung around the ship and ended up working, I'm going to try to avoid the ship like the plague. I need to try to track down a decent bicycle pump, and some blank CD-Rs. In other words, yes, basically routine.

Okay -- off to run errands.

A pound of flesh

Well, okay, only a few ounces in truth. Last night I was working on a bicycle in the bosun's locker, with tools that are often, at best, moderately adequate. I was trying to piece together a few nuts and bolts that fit one another to put a rear rack and milk crate on a bicycle that has been donated by a local bicycle collective. Long story short, the screw with the extremely frozen nut slipped in the vise, and my right forefinger slipped right along the top of the very sharp machine bolt head, tearing out a good sized chunk of flesh right on the main knuckle. I dressed it, and got various laughs, mostly sympathetic, today.

I have spent most of the last two days doing carpentry on the other ship, installing wood framework for a new autopilot unit, and filling in the hole where the old (and much larger) unit was removed. It's a nice change from the galley, but in truth I'm also looking forward to returning to the galley tomorrow for a few days while another cook is away.

My last foray into the galley was to cut and prep (soaking in vinegar, salt and water) an entire 20 kilo (44 pound) sack of potatoes. A number went into another cook's potato salad, a good portion were cooked and then frozen for future use at sea, a sizable chunk were pan fried one morning, with the remainder being deep fried for the next day's lunch. In the prep process, I got to use my "cheese" slicer, which it's amusing to re-purpose for vegan uses, in this case, slicing some potatoes thin enough to deep fry them as potato chips (or crisps, depending on your frame of reference.)

Life aboard ship remains interesting, with something new every day. Between food, carpentry, occasional first aid, and random tasks here and there, things rarely get boring.

Okay -- the YMCA, where I've had a lovely shower and free wireless, closes shortly, so I'll finish up. Likely more exciting posts to come soon.

Uneventful

Don't have a lot to say, but I was spurred to update anyway by this e-mail from someone who shall remained unnamed (but whose initials are TGS.)

HOLY CRAP, YOU'RE UPDATING YOUR BLOG.

I've been out of the galley for a couple of days, as another cook is coming aboard. So I did a couple of watch shifts, last night from midnight to 4am, and then again today from noon to 4pm. It can be a little bit of a challenge to stay awake, but otherwise doing watch is really quite pleasant. It's slow, especially at night, and i burned CDs to listen to in the galley, and read (War and Remembrance, by Herman Wouk) and went for little walks, and watched the occasional random drunk wander by.

Today's big news is that I got to drive (pilot) a Zodiac, a small boat (seats six safely.) I really only put-putted around Melbourne harbour, but it was fun nevertheless. And climbing down and up the side of the ship with a rope to get to and from the little boat is kind of fun as well.

The vegan sorbet I made the other night is sitting back at the ship softening as we speak. I think I might have to throw it back in the food processor to get it back to appropriate consistency.

And the really big news: while sitting here, I downloaded Maelstrom for the PC! With a half full bottle of wine that needs to be drank, big times tonight on ship, no doubt about it.

It's a sailor's life for me, yo ho ho.

Well, sort of, except not, since we're in port, and not actually out on the oceans.

For three days now, I've been in the galley (kitchen) which is next to the skullery (dishroom), cooking for people to sit and eat in the mess (dining room.) I'm really enjoying it. It's definitely a lot of work (the crew is now up above 20) but so far it's all been with another cook, and when it's not, I won't be cooking for so many. The nicest thing is probably the regular schedule: I work from 7:15am to 8pm, give or take, and then I'm done for the day. I can usually take an hour or two between lunch and dinner, unless I'm preparing something fairly complicated. After doing one gangplank watch from midnight to 4am, and then again from noon to four, I'm perfectly happy to not do that again anytime soon.

Some specifics on the food: for each of the last two mornings, I've made fresh juice in a donated (new) juicer: mixed fruit, and apple, the first morning, and this morning watermelon and apple/watermelon. For yesterday's dinner, I made an apple pie. But not just any apple pie: a vegan apple pie approximately twenty inches in diameter, and four inches deep. It took, beginning to end, about three hours. It was well worth it in the end, as it was well received. I considered making fruit sorbet for tonight, but don't have access to an ice cream maker. Possibly chocolate chip cookies.

Being in port, it's really quite pleasant living. Sure, I'm physically living on a ship, but have easy access to hot showers, gyms, high speed internet connections, and we have a lot of wonderful food donations come in, meaning a pretty constant flow of fresh fruits, veggies, bread, and other fresh stuff that is not the stuff of most high seas diets.

I'll continue to try to post, and try to get some pictures up. As I fall into a routine, though, I sort of wonder whether it's all that interesting to just write about the day to day stuff...

And thank you, for your support!

Just a quick note before I have to run (sprint, practically) back to the ship for dinner. Thanks so much to all of you who have e-mailed me with kind notes and wishes and encouragement and light and beauty. I expect to have somewhat limited internet time, so if I don't get a chance to write back individually, I apologize in advance. I'll definitely try to keep this blog updated.

Massive and heartfelt thanks also go out to those who have told me you plan to donate to Sea Shepherd. My brilliant and talented sister, E, has told me it's possible to designate an "honoree" when you donate online at seashepherd.org . You certainly don't have to donate, but if you want to, that would be awfully cool. The whales and seals and and sharks and dolphins (and due to the interconnected nature of the marine ecosystem, pretty much every other form of marine life, and every other form of life on earth) also thank you!

Love, justice, and struggle!
d

aboard the Robert Hunter!

I arrived Sunday afternoon (Australia dating...) and am well and happy and becoming ensconsed in life aboard ship. We're docked at the Melbourne Docklands, a short walk from central Melbourne, so in many ways it's pretty easy ship life, compared to what it could be (on the high seas, that is.)

The ship is operating with a relatively small crew, so I have my own cabin, something I didn't expect. It's a fairly new vessel (build mid-70s) so the facilities are in good shape, and plenty livable even for me at 6'4".

It seems that I'll be the ship's cook very soon, when the current, extraorindarily taleneted cook, leaves the ship for another campaign. The ship's diet is entirely vegan, which is exciting. It does present a few challenges to come up with three meals a day with sufficient protein and other nourishment, but I'm looking forward to it.

The crew of both the Robert Hunter, and the Sea Shepherd's flagship vessel docked nearby, the Farley Mowat, are to a one extraordinary people. Kind, talented, and deeply commited to the cause of saving the oceans and the life of the oceans. It sounds, even to me, like a cliched fundraising pitch or promo for Sea Shepherd, but I mean every word of it. This is a truly amazing bunch of people, doing truly fantastic work. It's entirely selfless: every single person, from the founder, Captain Paul Watson, on down, is a volunteer. People have a great variety of routes, experiences, stories, and convictions that have led them to Sea Shepherd. Across the board, however, people believe in the mission and the work, and comprise an extraorindary team.

Melbourne's generousity is also extraordinary. Being in dock, we have excellent access to facilities that wouldn't normaly be available aboard ship. The very nearby YMCA allows us free access to their gym, pool, and perhaps most importantly, showers. A bit further afield, and not always with regular hours, the Seafarer's Mission provides free internet access, as well as a pool table, library, and a place to relax for free. We have fantastic donations from local and worldwide individuals, groups, and businesses, everything from food, to matériel, to the random supplies that keep a venture like Sea Shepherd running are donated, or purchased from cash donations. I won't explicitly pester anyone reading my blog to donate, but I sure do think it's a great cause!

So as of now, a lot of my work in port will consist of cooking, leading tours, standing watch at the gangplank to the ship, and generally talking about Sea Shepherd. I'll try to keep updating this page semi-regularly.

Sea Shepherd!

I know it's been a long while since I posted. I suspect that a number of you who are checking out my blog (likely for the first time) are doing so because I e-mailed about my imminent departure for Melbourne, Australia. In about 24 hours, I'll be joining the crew of the Sea Shepherd Conversation Society vessel Robert Hunter, in Melbourne.

I'm sorry for the repeat/paste of the below, and hope to have more of substance posted soon.

For those of you who don't know about Sea Shepherd, it's a radical environmental group that does direct action in support of marine life and marine ecosystems, consistent with and in support of international law and conventions, especially the UN World Charter on Nature (1973.) I would really, really encourage you to check out www.seashepherd.org . Those of you who know me from Hampshire might recall that my Div III [senior thesis] was written about radical environmental groups, and that Sea Shepherd was one of the two groups I particularly focused on.

I'll be on the Robert Hunter, based in port in Melbourne, Australia, for two months. There is a real possibility and hope that I'll re-join the crew of Sea Shepherd for future high-seas, direct action campaigns, including the next Antarctic Whale Defense campaign.

While this genuinely isn't a fundraising message, if you have the means and interest, I'd strongly encourage you to Sea Shepherd to support their extraordinary work: even $5 helps, really.

Be well friends. For now, I am for the oceans.
d

zymurgy update!

homebrew:
PLANNING: a big move

DRINKING: imperial stout (50% Carafa II); tripel; cherry barleywine; wee heavy; gluten free cocoa beer

PRIMARY:

SECONDARY: Supertuscan; late harvest vidal; port;

BOTTLE CONDITIONING: orange blossom mead; 100% simcoe ryePA; double-double DIPA (& second runnings); Hugefoot barleywine [Bigfoot clone but with WLP007]; Midas Tickle (Hugefoot's second runnings, honey, grapes, & candi sugar); Petit Sirah/Zinfandel (Estate Ltd Ed 2005); Pliny The Red-Headed Stepchild

KEGGED: orange blossom mead; simcoe ryePA

SAVING/RETIRED: Gale Force DIPA; Ellen's IPA; winter wheat wine; orphan imperial stout; super strong bitter (~9.5%); vanilla stout; honey porter; saison; Wet Diaper (100% wet hopped IPA); etc.

zymurgy...

primary

• orange blossom mead
  
• scotch ale (roughly a Traquair House Ale clone, but much stronger)
  


secondary

• Trip Sixes (somewhere between a strong tripel, and a quad)
  
• Pliny The Red Headed Stepchild (approx IBU 480)
  
• petit sirah/zinfandel (Estate Ltd Ed 2005)
  
• grapefruit wine
  


drinking

• saison
  
• orphan imperial stout (B2)
  
• apple wine
  
• special bitter (B4)
  
• vanilla stout (BIU)
  
• honey porter (BIU)
  
• gluten free cocoa beer
  
• Wet Diaper (100% wet hopped IPA)
  
• orphan beer #2 (B3): unintentionally overhopped super strong bitter (~9.5%);
  


planning

• rosemary imperial stout half the grain bill is Weyermann Carafa II)
  
• chocolate brownie imperial stout
  
• cherry barleywine
  
• super secret experimental belgian
  


retired

• Ellen's IPA
  
• winter wheat wine
  

Audre Lorde on guilt...

"I have no creative use for guilt, yours or my own. Guilt is only another way of avoiding informed action, of buying time out of the pressing ned to make clear choices, out of the approaching storm that can feed the earth as well as bend the trees.

“The Uses of Anger: Women Responding to Racism”, p.130

162 posts

Glad that blogger counts my total posts to this blog: makes me feel a little less like a complete slacker. Here is # 163:

I'm sitting here going through a plastic crate of old crap from my mom's garage, mostly from high school. It's oneof those half entertaining, half who-the-hell-was-I-then kind of things. Highlights so far include a Pizza Hut Employee of the Month nametag, circa April 1992 or so, a bunch of old swim team ribbons from age groups 9-10 and 11-12 (I actually won a first in breaststroke once!) and some high school report cards.

I'm doing all this while watching Apocalypse Now Redux (cherry stuff!) and drinking decaf with orange liquer (generic Grand Marnier, since it's $20 at the state store compared to $40 for a fifth of the real Grand Marnier.)

Back to the mill now!

Back from the depths of non-blogdom!

I've been busy traveling, and also had other things that had to get done, and partially, kind of forgot about the blog. Maybe I'll post more regularly, or maybe not. Anyway, today's post is, appropriately, about homebrew, namely my most recent brew, S3: Super Summer Saison.

I brewed it in mid to late July, tasted the first bottle today, and overall, I'm tentatively pleased with it. It came out reasonably true to BJCP style for Saison, see:

http://www.bjcp.org/2004_BJCP_Guidelines.pdf
16C: Saison

It came out to roughly 8.7%, a tiny bit high for style, but I think my gravity calculations might need adjusting, and it might actually be between 8%-8.5%. I used Wyeast 3725 (Biere de Garde), and adjuncts included a pound of dark belgian candi sugar, and a pound of raw turbinado sugar.

My tasting notes:

8/8/06, first taste, 12 oz bottle, cold (from friedge overnight). Opens with moderate carbonation hiss.

APPEARANCE: pours hazy medium orange with small head, dissipates fairly quickly. small layer of yeast sediment in bottom of bottle.

AROMA: tangy, slightly wild, hints of phenolics

TASTE: tangy, fruity, finishes slightly sweet and fruity, then in the aftertaste, notes of bread/biscuit? (not in a papery way, though)

MOUTH: tingly carbonation, finishes somewhat viscous

OVERALL: pretty decent for a farmhouse style saison, especially when I've never brewed one before (or really, anything like it.) definitely drinkable, though far from perfect.

secondary taste as it warms: good, more tangy and wild up front, more fruity esters and phenolics in back.

thoughts... next time I'd probably use a less powerful and wild yeast (it fermented from 1.070 to 1.003 in 68 hours!), and try to find ways to reduce the phenolic taste, since though it's appropriate for the style, isn't my favorite flavor.

Passings

I'm looking out my big front window, across the traffic driving too fast through one of the few north-south thoroughfares on the near west side of SLC, at the open green park across the way, which is punctuated by the harsh beige of the baseball diamond's infield.

The incident for my first posting in a long time was laughing out loud at a person in a bear suit riding a harley northbound up the street. Yes, a full-blown bear suit. Just as I was realizing that this was probably the Utah Jazz mascot, the Utah Jazz promotional van drove by behind the bear.

I spent the last few days working with the next door neighbor to transplant a chain link fence to fix the boundary between our houses. If I do say so myself, it looks pretty damn good for the work of a couple of amateurs with no specialized tools.

The skies are purple and grey and full of thunderstorm potential, it is 80 degrees, down from yesterday's low 90s.

Today I planted a strawberry plant, and I'm about to transplant a small shrub plant that a neighbor gave us.

Today I made hotel arrangements to go to Des Moines for a long time, good friend's wedding reception.

Today I changed out the tires on my bike, from 41/40 all purpose/all season to 26x1.25" touring slicks for low rolling resistance summer riding. I then cleaned and oiled the bike, which was desperately needed. I'm about to recalibrate my bike computer.

Today I sprinted to the post office to mail two packages, riding hard to get home before thunderstorms began.

Today I got an e-mail that an important friend's mother died after a long illness. It was gut wrenching.

Now the sun is coming out. Time to transplant plants.

Everything is better with beer...

Much stress, packing for a month or more away, trying to get taxes done before leaving, and doing several work things.

A Flying Dog Gonzo Imperial Porter, 9.5% ABV, makes it all better.

Taxes: jesuschrist I hate non-resident/part-year resident returns. It amazes me how much more straightforward the federal 1040 is than state returns are (including Utah, California, Colorado), and the NR/PY are just preposterous. I mean, really, really ridiculous: can't they avoid me doing yet another schedule when 99.9% of people will end up with the same number at the end as the beginning?

And today's funny note: the self-appointed tax crusaders in Utah are taxing us at 7%, while the notorious tax and spend liberals in California are taxing us at 6%... grh.

Perhaps more updates will come during the sidewaysdownunder adventure. Or, perhaps not!

The comment I just sent in to NPR's Fresh Air

I just listened to Terry Gross introduce her guest for today's Fresh Air, James Burrows.

She very prominently stated, in both the teaser and the show's intro, that the U.S. Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen "IS SPONSORED BY HBO". Why the commerical endorsement on our belovedly non-commercial NPR?

Is HBO underwriting this episode of Fresh Air? If yes, it should be so stated. If not, they shouldn't be getting a free commercial.

-[dangr], Salt Lake City, Utah

Bad day

Not every single thing that could be going wrong is, but it's close. First, I was lazy about the laundry, and threw some rags in with the clothes. Problem was, the rags had been used, in part, to clean painbrushes, and so they smell like solvent, so all the clothes now also smell like solvent. We'll see what the second round of laundry, with hot water, extra rinse, and a $750 super fancy pantsy washing machine does.

Out stupid car is in the shop, after we had to pay to have it towed there. (Turns out the shitty Hyundai 10 Year/100,000 Mile Protection Plan that the previous owners paid $1250 for only covers towing until 50,000 miles. Go figure.) I just got the call back from the dealer service department, and they think it was just flooded, since when he tried to start it and floored the gas to start it, it started right up. Ummmm, yeah. Whatever. Then he goes on to tell me that the mechanic recommends new plugs & wries, since the ones in there look like the originals (?!?) to the tune of $160, a new air filter for $37, the 60,000 mile service for $540, and here's the whopper: a new timing belt for $329! And while they're in there doing the new timing belt, might as well do all new drive belts for another $80. Fuck.

Then I opened up a beer to drink while I do the taxes, a Full Sail Old Boardhead Barleywine, and it's basically skunk. It's not bad, but it's not sweet at all, and tastes like a boring old APA or something.

Then my mp3 player wouldn't connect correctly to the computer. Fortunately, though, I can just take out the SD card and change around the songs on that.

Ugh. Maybe I should just go back to sleep.

a haiku, in honor of our impending downundersideways adventure:

wine we will drink much
sing dance scream, live life loudly
yes, much to be had

i know, it's slavishly observant to the 5-7-5 haiku hegemony. but so be it: WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

W5: Wacky Westside Winter Wheat Wine

Brewers: d & j
Style: Wheat Wine / Barleywine / Experimental
Type: Partial mash
Size: 5 gallons (4.135 gal. boil, topped up to 5 gal. for primary)
Color: ~7 SRM (projected)
Bitterness: 59 IBU (calculated w/ Rager method)
OG: 1.110 (actual)
FG: 1.024 (projected)
Projected alcohol: 11.47% ABV (8.89% ABW)

GRAIN:
7 lb. Maris Otter Pale ($1.50/lb)
7 lb. Schreier American White Wheat ($1.25/lb)
1 lb. Muntons Torrefied wheat ($1.50/lb)
Partial mash: 65% efficiency (estimated)
Post-sparge volume: 4.135 gallons

BOIL:
60 minutes
boil volume approx. 4.135 gallons
22 quart (5.5 gal) stockpot, 18/10 stainless steel

SUGARS:
6 lb. Wheat extract syrup (bulk: $17)

HOPS:
2 oz. Fuggles (4.6% AA, 60 min.) ($1.50/oz)
2 oz. Willamette (4.0% AA, 60 min.) ($1.25/oz)

WATER:
bottled spring water (SLC's water is ridiculously hard) (~$0.80/gal)

SANITIZING:
* B-T-F iodophor 12.5ppm for carboy, siphoning equipment, and lid; rinsed with water boiled for 30 minutes
* One Step powder (one tablespoon per gallon) for utensils, hydrometer, thermometer, miscellanous tools

COOLING:
in tub full of snow; approximately one hour 25 minutes to 80*F; after siphon temperature was 64*F at yeast pitch

YEAST:
Pitched at 64*F.
WLP007: White Labs 007 Dry English Ale liquid vial: chosen for high attenuation, high flocculance, high alcohol tolerance.
Yeast starter made 24 hours in advance with 4 cups spring water, 4 tablespoons Muntons light DME, boiled 30 minutes, cooled to 68*F, transferred to growler, liquid yeast vial (out of fridge for approx. two hours) pitched 5:30pm, three piece airlock with vodka.
Noticeable fermentation 6:55pm; at 7:30pm ferment bubbles 4/minute at approx. 65*F air temperature.
LAG PHASE approximately 24 hours.

PRIMARY FERMENTATION VESSEL:
Ale Pail bucket; three piece airlock w/ vodka
(Better Bottle being currently used for wine secondary)
Actively fermenting as I write this, 2/22/06 11:20am, approximately 36 bubbles per minute!

the Boss?

So, I'm sitting at my computer, listening to a CD set from the library. And see, because I'm a little unoriginal and lame, it's the Essential Bruce Sringsteen.

Okay, see, it's like this: my childhood was Springsteen's anthem rock period. I was born the year Born to Run was released. I was seven years old and far too musically immature to know or appreciate the magically poetic Nebraska. Born in the USA, perhaps the most misunderstood song of an era, came out when I was nine years old.

It wasn't until 1995, when a friend, mentor, and practically hero of mine (M.H.) gave me a mixed tape (remember those?) with the title track from 1995's masterwork The Ghost of Tom Joad. This song awoke in me an immense appreciation for Springsteen, and caused me to discover Nebraska, and go back to actually listen to and understand Born in the USA.

Other tracks on that tape, which oh! how I wish I could track it down, included Richard Thompson's extraoridnary (and underappreciated!) song Beeswing. I have a hard time explaining (and understanding) how much this tape changed the way I listened to music, and what music I listened to. Another CD sitting in the pile on the kitchen table is Richard Thompson's Action Packed: The Best of the Capitol Years.

But I digress: Springsteen. While he put out a fair amount of mediocre, commerically viable but artisically lacking music, I confess here that I like his music enough to have all three discs from Essential. If that's lame, well, that's just too bad.

Pictures from the long weekend

We didn't get a lot of different things done this weekend, but we did brew, clearly the most valuable use of our time. We made a winter wheat wine, cheekily named W5: Wacky Westside Winter Wheat Wine. Here are a few images from the day:

This is J looking at the yeast starter, trying to find active fermentation. It was there, albeit a bit slower than the night before.


This is the various pots of strike water and boiled, sanitary rinsing water.


Why buy ice to cool down the boil when you have a yard full of snow, and a bathtub just begging to hold it?


And completely unrelated: here are the cool icicles on our next door neighbor's house.

ummmm, i think they're even serious...

WHEAT OR POTATO WINE

BEETROOT WINE

It's been a long time, been a long time now...

Since I posted, that is. I know, you missed me. Right? I've been to Georgia, and back, by car, through many national parks (pictures may follow.)

Working on the wine I'm making now, and we're both working on the house that we're getting really goddamn sick of.

Here is a photo of today's thing that the morons who previously owned out house did to it.



See, I knew we needed to replace the 220 volt receptacle to the stove, as it was loose. Well, it turns out it had been loose for a while, 'cause the fucking idiots who used to own the house had worked on it. As you can see in the image, the plug part of the receptacle joins a metal plate which holds it in place. (The metal plate in the middle of the plug thing should be snug up to the front of it.)

Well, it had come loose, and the fucking morons decided to take wood screws (see the wood screw sticking through the metal plate), and tried (unsuccessfully) to screw the metal plate back on to the plastic receptacle plug (do you see the word wood anywhere in that transaction?) Then they wrapped the screws in electrical tape (which you can see dangling off.)

How much does a new receptacle cost, you ask? About four bucks. Stupid fuckers.

By popular demand

Several regular readers have asked for (demanded) pictures of the house. Here are some, from various stages of progress:

This is the front room, early on, cluttered and full of stuff:



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In the two bedrooms, previous bozos (owners) had put in asbestos popcorn-texture ceilings. We had them tested, and it was really a very small concentration of asbestos, and it was of a type considered the "better" of the two major types, crystotile, rather than amphibole, which is believed to stay in the lungs longer and therefore result in increased toxicity.

Nevertheless, we decided to drop false ceilings in both of the bedrooms, and seal it off. We went through all the analyses about sealing vs. remediation vs. removal, and decided for overall health concerns, both ours and any workers we'd have coming in to do actual removal, that sealing it off made the most sense.

To do it, we put up 2x4s across the ceiling, and then finished, primed 1/4" plywood:

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Before dropping the ceilings, we decided to provide a warning for future owners who might be tempted to tear out the ceilings and popcorn:

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Here is a big whole in the wall from crumbling plaster in the back bedroom that J re-plastered. The plaster-on-lath construction was in remarkably good shape in most of the rooms, but certain parts needed repair.

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Here is J repairing small holes in the front bedroom:

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Here is the rear bedroom after extensive painstaking scraping, multiple layers of wallpaper stripping, patching small holes and gouge marks, and cleaning the remaining crap off of the walls. Much of this work was done by A over a not-so-entertaining Thanksgiving visit.

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Here I am painting yellow onto the walls in the front bedroom. I like to sit down. I tire easily.

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Here are the rear bedroom walls after being primed with tinted primer (tinted a sort of bluish grey so that the main paint, called Dill Pickle, will go on easier. My conclusion after using four different kinds of primer in different areas is that all primer sucks. I mean, it helps the paint stick better, which is nice, but it sucks, and peels easily, and is generally just a pain in the ass to work with.

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Here are the beginnings of the abovementioned Dill Pickle, in the rear bedroom:

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The floors have endured about 93 years of abuse, and here is one example of what the looked like (this in the rear bedroom):

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Here is me laying the foam underlayment for the laminate flooring, which provides both a moisture barrier, and some cushioning under the flooring (which makes it really pleasant to walk on.)

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Here is the result of all the hard work of painting and laying underlayment:

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And here is the front bedroom, with a stack of flooring acclimating to be laid in the front room (a big task, as the front room is 15'x26'.)

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Here is a glass block wall that I built for the tub/shower. The bathroom is designed in a really peculiar way, with the sink next to the window (on the other side of the glass wall in this photo), then the tub/shower, then the toilet next to the door. It's kind of ridiculous to have it laid out like this, but moving all the plumbing would be a very expensive and in-depth operation which would require a plumber, so we're just making what we have look nicer.

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And perhaps most importantly, here is the fuel for all this hard work (this is an actual photograph of our fridge at the house, without any special arrangements made.)

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A story about December 19, 2004

I got a phone call a year ago today from my brother, S., which he has said since he doesn't remember. He called from my parents house and said "I've got some bad news." I had just talked to my mom that morning, about another brother being sick, so I thought I knew what it was. I said, "Yeah, I know, I talked to mom this morning." He replied, "Oh, no, some other bad news." I knew instantly what he was talking about.

My dad had been diagnosed with lung cancer eleven days prior. Bad cancer: staged at least at "IIIb", and according to the pulmonologist, very likely a stage "IV". Even now, talking about the details is difficult. Last night, I laid in bed with my wife until 1am, talking about him, looking up at the ceiling, crying, remembering. I chose to talk about the happy things, the funny memories. The details of the cancer and the death: some are still too raw.

I got to spend several weeks with him in the weeks just prior to his death: J and I went up for Thanksgiving, and it was clear that I should stick around. While numerous medical appointments stand out in my mind, the better memories are sitting in his office, talking, reminiscing, getting information, talking about what he wanted to happen when he died.

A bittersweet, but funny exclamation happened one day, in the midst of a conversation about distribution of ashes. I asked him if he wanted his ashes to be spread anywhere, and after something thinking and some discussion, we came up with two places he wanted: Monterey Bay, where he spent much of his adolescence, and Galway Bay, where he spent much of his imagination as an adult. In response to one or another of these questions about ashes, and who he wanted to be sure was invited to his wake, he exclaimed, "HEY! You're planning MY GODDAMN DEATH, aren't you!?!" We laughed, since, horrifically, that's exactly what we were doing.

Laughing was so important, so therapeutic, especially in those last weeks. We did a lot of it: sitting around in the family room in the house I grew up in along with my siblings, we'd start making a joke out of something or other relating to death, and dying. My dad loved, loved to laugh. My entire immediate family loves, loves to laugh. We still do it, about my dad, when the grief gets to be too much, or even when it doesn't. I was sitting around in that same room, playing poker with three of my brothers, a few months later. My father's ashes were sitting on the table we were using, and S., the same brother mentioned above, said, "Goddammit, c'mon, dad! Bet or call!"

I honestly don't know if all this laughter is to forestall the misery, the grief, of losing a father (a husband, a brother, a best friend) too early, too young. Or some other kind of coping mechanism. Or because he loved to laugh, and we all learned a lot of our laughing skills from him. I hope that a lot of it is the last.

Busy, busy

So, I just got some shit from a disgruntled regular reader, who shall remained unnamed, but who has previously been known in these pages as TGS. The really ironic thing about the aforementioned shit I was dished is that it pertained to my failing to regularly update this blog. This, from TGS, who has put her blog on hiatus! The hypocrite!

As I write this, I'm so damn tired I think I might fal asleep typing. Happily, leonard Cohen is crooning me awake. The snow is falling fairly heavily outside, really only the second real snow of the season.

We've been busting our little butts on the house, and it's starting to really come together. We have both bedrooms close to done: painted, laminate flooring laid, and ready to move stuff in to.

Now we only have a few things to do: the front room, the bathroom, the kitchen, the dishwasher installation, putting in a new toilet, fixing the leak from the current toilet that is old enough to have developed a stalactite in the basement, and on, and on. The joys of home ownership!

I'm just hoping that when I pull out the toilet that I don't find that the leak has damaged the subflooring. That would really, really suck.

The project I most look forward to, and which feels farthest away, is building a little wine cellar in the basement. I'm thinking I'll get to that in about 2026.

Here's a neat map from the BBC about the beautiful trend in South America towards leftist governments. There is hope!

Off to bed now, hoping that I don't fall asleep while brushing with the electric toothbrush.

p.s. Tomorrow will be one year since my father died, both too quickly, and too fast. It gets a bit easier as time passes, but not much.

Somewhat better

... is how I'm feeling. It no longer feels like I'm swallowing glass when I swallow, but rather mere gravel. We have two ceiling panels up in the house, with about seven to go. Two of the ones going up today are hassles, since they require me re-wiring the ceiling light fixtures through holes I cut in them.

The happy upshot of all of this is that the lead paint test came back negative as to interior paint. A positive result would have made scraping and stripping all the layers of paint and wallpaper a genuine nightmare.

I'm hoping to post some pictures later of the work in progress. The ones I'm really looking forward to posting are, of course, the "after" pictures.

coxsackie virus and home renovation: not a pleasant combination

Named after Coxsackie, New York, where they were discovered, the coxsackie viruses are part of the enterovirus family of viruses (which also includes echoviruses, polio, and hepatitis A viruses) that live in the human digestive tract. ( reference .)

All I know is that this is what Dr. Smartypants thinks I have, and that I have a miserable, awful sore throat, so bad I can barely talk above a whisper without seriously aggravating it.

We're working hard on getting the house ready to move in to, including dropping false ceilings in two bedrooms, laying laminate flooring, and painting nearly every interior surface outside of the kitchen and bathroom (which will come later.) It's a huge amount of work, but we're doing it right, and remediating the sloppy work of 93 years of bozos who didn't do it right. (Example: on one bedroom wall, there were at least SIX layers of wallpaper and paint that had to be removed to get down to the plaster.)

We have had multiple moments where we had to make a decision along the lines of "do we really want to do this? are we really going to stay in this house long enough to make it worth it?" Each time, we've decided to do the right thing, which always means more work. I think we'll be glad we did in the medium and long term, but it's a real shit of work right now, and I feel like we're personally contributing to the retirement plans of Home Depot executives every day.

All of this is made more of a pain in the ass by my sore throat/coxsackie virus, which I've been medicating with near constant applications of chloraseptic lozenges and throat spray. Even with this, it often feels like I'm swallowing glass shards.

I couldn't resist:

Talking a little more about Initiative 901, which I wish California would follow suit on (since, as this article notes, the statewide smoking ban effectively made the patio seating at most restaurants death dens, which Washington's 25 foot buffer will hopefully prevent.)

But here is my favorite quote from the article:

"I'm a phone call away from selling," said Alan McWain, owner of The Spar Cafe and Tobacco Merchant in downtown Olympia. "The general public doesn't appreciate my type of business, and my type of business caters to smokers. If you can't go to a smoke shop to smoke, where the hell can you go?"

Yeah, NEWSFLASH: the general public DOESN'T SUPPORT YOU, OR your type of business. Did you really just figure this out? Really? And oooohhhhhh, threatening to sell your merchant of death business? Oh, gosh, say it ain't so! As for your rhetorical question, I hear that in Christian verions of hell, smoking might be a distinct possibility. Give it a shot!

a new morning in america!

Most of the day-after-election-days in the last decade have been profoundly sad events for me. Today is a delightful change in this trend: Guvna Dumbfuck (aka Arnold Schwarzenegger) saw all of his outrageous, stupid powergrabs lose in the utterly unnecessary special election. (And as an amusing aside, the stupid fucker almost wasn't allowed to vote.) Lucky for him, when he's denied his right to vote, unlike normal citizens, he merely has his handlers pull out a cell phone: "a quick call to the Los Angeles County Registar-Recorder Office confirmed that he had not voted previously, and he was allowed to vote by normal ballot, said Kristin Heffron, chief deputy for the office."

Despite Dumbfuck being able to vote, better informed and more intelligent California voters (where were these people when Dumbfuck was elected?) turned down his sillyass initiatives for a state spending cap, to restrain union politics, to lengthen the time it takes teachers to get tenure, and in a breathtaking power grab, to allow three retired judges to take over legislative redistricting (to get them DeeMoCratz out of running Cowleefornyuh.) All of the remaining four statewide initiatives were also rejected, including one requiring parental approval for a minor's abortion. Yay! Democracy! Really, the only bummer loss in California for me is Prop 80, which would have done a somewhat mediocre job of re-regulating the energy pirates.

In other beautiful news, Washington state voters passed Initiative 901, a change which will actually let me go into the formerly repulsively smoky bars of Seattle starting in thirty days. Called the nation's most stringent smoking ban in public places, the more I could ask for is: ban smoking entirely, everywhere, within state boundaries. No: I don't think it's okay for people to smoke in their cars or homes, around their children and friends. No: I don't think it's okay for the rude, disrespectful people who live in the apartment directly below me to smoke and blow it our their windows, into mine. No: I don't think it's okay for the people at the Tractor to smoke out on the sidewalk in front of TGS' squat.

In other great election news, the democratic gubernatorial (why has that word eluded the newscasters this morning?) candidate in Virginia won. Now, I don't much care that Democrats won, but the race was being cast as a referedum on President Dumbfucker's presidency, since he made a last minute campaign stop for the republican. (Note to strategists: stumping by the stupidest, least effective, most dangerous president in recent history: dumb idea.)

PJs

Two words: gingham check.

Subject: Questar's Peeping Toms

[dangr ]
[our address]
Salt Lake City, UT 84111
(801) our-phone, [dangr ]@yahoo.com


Questar Corporation
180 East 100 South
P.O. Box 45433
Salt Lake City, UT 84145-0433

Thursday 20 October 2005

Subject: Questar’s Peeping Toms

To whom it may concern:

I am thoroughly disgusted with the persistent behavior of your employees in the parking lot which abuts my home, and the homes of about thirty others, though only half of us have the grave misfortunate to be direct neighbors to your parking lot.

The regular racket of the parking lot is, frankly, quite enough to make you a bad neighbor: the incessant and unnecessary car alarms that begin as early as 6:30am, and continue into the evening hours. The people who sit and idle in their cars for five, ten, or twenty minutes at a time, ignorantly spewing their car exhaust into our windows. The exceptional rudeness of people who stand outside their cars, and therefore under my windows, and smoke cigarettes, ostensibly because they don’t want to pollute the inside of their cars, but have no problem polluting my apartment. The roaring and revving of your diesel trucks in the morning.

This morning, though, gave me not one, but two vivid experiences with easily my least favorite example of your employees: the peeping toms. There are many, they are consistent, and this has happened dozens and dozens of times in the last three months.

Specifically this morning, I am referring to one of your employees, who arrived in a Questar marked Chevy 2500 HD 4x4 truck, marked “Exploration and Production,” with Utah plates 078 LSV, which he parked in space 115. He was a white male, wearing a green jacket and dark pants, with close cropped hair, carrying a bag over his shoulder. He got out of his truck, and while standing near the door, looked directly into my bedroom window, directly at me, as I stood there. He continued looking for several seconds, and then, while walking away, turned his head and looked some more while walking away.

Disgustingly, when I went to my window minutes later to determine the number of the parking space of the first voyeur, I was met with the direct gaze of another voyeur: your parking lot security guard. This is a white male wearing black pants and a white long-sleeved shirt with a dark tie, with balding grey-ish hair in a circular fringe, carrying a clipboard. Your parking lot security are perhaps the worst intruders into our privacy: these people regularly look directly into our windows. Let me assure you that nobody is parking illegally in my bedroom or living room, and there is no need to look into my windows.

It happened this morning that I was half clothed, and did not yet have a shirt on, when I received the first and second looks from the driver of Utah plates 078 LSV. Some mornings, we have been unclothed, other mornings, fully clothed. It is apparently in part this potential for being in various stages of undress that your employees find so interesting, as the lascivious looks seem to peak in the morning hours, between 6:30am and 9:00am, while the afternoon voyeurs seem to be more in the stripe of half-interested, opportunistic perverts. Your security guards, on the other hand, do not seem to discriminate based on the time of day, but instead are vigorous peeping toms at all hours that they patrol the lot.

To clarify: these are not stray looks, while generally looking around the area: they are intentional, direct looks. They are looks calculated to invade our privacy, and see into our home. They are looks which numerous of your employees, sometimes as many as a half a dozen in a given day just that I see, cast into our windows while they walk to and from their cars. Whether motivated by prurient interests, or out of general disrespect and nosiness, I am unsure, and don’t really care to look into their minds to find out. The bottom line is that these looks are patently unacceptable.

For your information, Utah’s version of the ‘peeping tom’ law is codified at Utah Code
§ 76-9-702.7, which is classified with other “Offenses Against Public Order and Decency.” Section 76-9-702.7, titled “Voyeurism offenses – Penalties”, specifies, in relevant part:

(4) A person is guilty of voyeurism who, under circumstances not amounting to a violation of Subsection (1), views or attempts to view an individual, with or without the use of any instrumentality:
(a) with the intent of viewing any portion of the individual's body regarding which the individual has a reasonable expectation of privacy, whether or not that portion of the body is covered with clothing;
(b) without the knowledge or consent of the individual; and
(c) under circumstances in which the individual has a reasonable expectation of privacy.

Let’s apply Section 76-9-702.7(4) to our situation here: your employees do view, and regularly attempt to view, without use of instrumentalities (cameras, etc.), our bodies, regardless of whether they are then covered with clothing. These viewings and attempted viewings most certainly do not occur with our consent or knowledge, and we most certainly have a reasonable expectation in our privacy in our bedroom and living room, and in our bodies while in these spaces. Section 76-9-702.7 continues, in subsection (5): “A violation of Subsection (4) is a class B misdemeanor” which is punishable by imprisonment up to six months, and a fine up to $1,000, or both.

Notably, the Utah Legislature amended the peeping tom law in 2004 to remove the element of the offense which required that the actor have intent to invade the privacy of the victim. So, it doesn’t even matter whether your employees intend to invade our privacy: the fact that they look into our windows, into spaces in which we have reasonable expectations of privacy, and view our bodies, in which we have reasonable expectations of privacy, is sufficient. It merely makes the offense more disgusting if they intend to invade our privacy, as one can reasonably conclude they do, when they look day after day, and turn for extra looks as they walk away.

I look forward to your written response. I assure you that these behaviors, if they continue, will not be met in the future solely by a letter to you, but rather by calls to the police department, and letters to the District Attorney’s office requesting prosecution. Please: do something about your employees, and their un-neighborly, disgusting, illegal behavior.

Sincerely,

[dangr ]

My new favorite radio baseball announcers:

are the Chicago White Sox radio announcers, John Rooney and Ed Farmer. Snidely commenting last night on the absurdly long seventh inning stretch with its inane singing, they said (very paraphrased):

"Well, the seventh inning stretch is FINALLY over...
They sang Take Me Out To The Ballgame, then they sang some more, they sang god Bless America...
they could publish an album here...
What's next: Jingle Bells?...
...
Yeah, Tanya Tucker was singing, she finally left the field... I think some of these people [at Anaheim] probably came just to hear her... Man, they could publish an album..."

In addition, they are great at screaming with enthusiasm for big ChiSox plays, and they unabashedly cheer on their side, the perinially homely-until-lately White Sox. (I hate the silly veneer of neutrality that some announcers think they have to have. It's why I love Jerry Coleman and Ted Leitner of the Padres radio broadcast, in addition to Coleman's trademark "Ohh Doctor!" and "You can hang a star on that one, baby!" calls, and Leitner's "My Padres"/"Your Padres" dichotomy.)

Confidential to TGS:

January

China:
Tsingtao is pretty much swill. It's affiliated in some sort of marketing/distribution arrangement with Anheuser-Busch, if that tells you anything. Might want to look for Tsingtao Dark or Tsingtao Premium, which I haven't had either, but they couldn't suck any worse than regular Tsingtao.
"Sedrin beer" is described here thusly: "Weak as piss-2%, drank from thimbles, slight musky aftertaste, tolerable and drinkable in high dosages. How many bottles can you get down? 5 to 6".
I'd probably look for this Chinese liquor: "The most famous Chinese liquor is Maotai, a 55% spirit made of wheat and sorghum that, for centuries, has been produced in Maotai Town, Guizhou province." I presume 55% means 55% alcohol, which would make it 110 proof, so go slow and low, eh?
Take-home: let me know what you else you find in China, but take your flask, okay?

Vietnam:
Their primary beer seems to be Saigon, or Saigon Export (as had in the U.S., so it's not guaranteed to taste like this at all. I haven't had it. Saigon Beer has a website , which, to my great relief, indicates that their "333 Premium Beer is now... widely accepted in The United States, Hong Kong, Japan, Singapore, and Australia."
And WHOA! There's a BREWPUB in Ho Chi Min City! To wit: Hoa Vien Brauhaus Restaurant, 28 Mac Dinh Chi Street, District 1, Ho Chi Min City, Vietnam, phone: 84 8-8290585, Hours: 7:30am-midnight. TGS: you will be SEVERELY punished if you don't check this place out. ¿Claro?
Here is a somewhat boring article about brewing in Ho Chi Min City. The author indicates that in Vietnam "The omnipresent draught beer is Tiger, which is your standard issue light lager - average but quite refreshing after walking around District 1 in the heat of the afternoon." He writes about designing the brewhouse for "Diplomat Garden Restaurant & Brewhouse, a German-themed restaurant and brewpub. Things German carry a lot of cache in Vietnam." I couldn't find any information whatsoever about this apparent brewpub startup, but his article was only from March 2005, so it may not really exist yet.
Maybe try the local liquor made in Yen Van village called Ruou Van, whose recipe has been kept secret since the 18th or 19th century and is passed on only to male children and daughter-in-laws." Locals claim that "Van liquor never gives drinkers a headache." Please report back on this.

Laos:
While Beer Lao is alleged to be among the betters beers in Southeast Asia, that says very little.
You should probably just check in to Lao Lao, the fermented rice "strong local liquor [made] in Ban Xang Hai village, Laos". It's also known as Ban Sang Hai. A much scarier image of Lao Lao distillation can be found at the bottom of this page.

Cambodia:
Angkor Beer sounds pretty dismal, but give it a shot, preferably on tap. You should be hotter than hell by this leg of the SE Asia trip, so you'll need some cold beer. The same company, Cambrew, makes a beer more worth searching out called Black Panther Premium Stout , apparently an 8.0% ABV beer. Definitely look for Angkor Extra Stout, which sounds better.
Take-home advice: ALWAYS seek out the dark beers when traveling internationally. This applies when traveling in most parts of Europe too, Belgium (and perhaps France) notwithstanding.
Liquor: as a believer in the rights of all living creatures, I can't endorse what appears to be the local liquor, a rice wine cocktail made with fried/mushed spiders, specifically, the "a-ping" - a breed of palm-sized tarantula." Fuckinghell.

Indonesia:
Primary beer seems to be Bali Hai, and some sort of piss apparently made by Heinekin called Bintang.
Local liquors are discussed here :
"mildly alcoholic tuak (palm toddy), brewed from various palm sugars a month before consumption, provides you a mellow slow-motion high. Tuak is prepared by filling a length of hollow bamboo with palm juice, then burying it for a week to allow fermentation to take place. Very popular in non-Muslim regions of Indonesia. Brem, usually home-produced, is rice wine made from glutinous rice and coconut milk. Old brem (more than three days old) is sour and contains more alcohol; new brem is sweeter and packs less of a kick. Badek is another fermented liquor obtained from rice. Tipple arak is an insidiously potent distilled rice spirit made from fermented molasses. Tourists like to drink arak with Sprite or 7UP."

To be continued...

February
Oz/NZ:
India:
Nepal:

March
Tibet:
Mongolia:
CIS:

April-June
Russia:
Baltics/Eastern Europe:
North Africa:

July-August
Central America:
Venezuela:
Colombia:
Bolivia:
Argentina:
Chile/Patagonia:

Dell tech "support"

I'm so goddamn irritated with Dell right now, that I can barely stand to explain it any further. I'm pasting in notes below on my FOUR interactions with Dell tech "support" today: three on the phone, one online. The best thing that can be said is that the online chat support guy didn't hang up on me, transfer me inappropriately, or fail to call me back as "Jennifer" (the first phone person) promised to.

All in all, this began Friday 10/14/2005, starting ~1:30pm MDT, and completing ~6:30pm MDT

Call #1: At least "Jennifer" had me run the (worthless) Dell diagnostic
tools. But then since the hard drive scan function was taking so long, she
insisted that she had to call me back, in "precisely" thirty minutes. Of
course, she failed to, despite having my cell phone and home phone
numbers.

Call #2: Random male was completely mystified by the problem, and without
telling me or asking me, transferred me to the pay-for-support number.

Call #3: Random woman was of even less help than before, and seemed
boggled by the idea that I did not possess an original Windows XP cd. I explained,
patiently, that new computers haven't (to my experience) shipped with
Windows XP CDs in years, only "recovery" CDs. I also explained to her that
when I'm using wireless, the wireless indicator light occasionally goes
off, even though the connection keeps working. She told me, vaguely, that
we'd fix that too. Ha, ha.
She mostly ran through the Power Options control panel, and had me do the
same things I did a month and a half ago when I spoke with a phone tech
service person. She hung up on me shortly after.

Next: online "chat" with technical support. "Abhishek_Punj" had me do the
same things in the Power Options, mostly, and ultimately told me:

{Abhishek_Punj 7:22:40 PM} Not to worry.If the issue is not resolved
then I will give you a system exchange if you want.

HA, HA! I somehow doubt that Abhishek_Punj is, himself, authorized to give me a system exchange, but I sure do look forward to THAT conversation.

Just in case you don't want to read through the entire snoozefest, I have bolded my favorite parts. I also suggest the latter parts, after about 7:04pm, as the best reading.

Welcome to Dell Chat. Please wait for an available agent. You will be notified when your chat is accepted by an agent.
The session has been accepted.

{Abhishek_Punj 6:43:26 PM} Thank you for contacting Dell Consumer Hardware Warranty Support for Portables. My name is Abhishek. Please allow me a couple of minutes to pull up your system and the warranty details.
{ 6:43:48 PM} Sure.
{Abhishek_Punj 6:44:12 PM} I request you to please elaborate on the issue.
FOOTNOTE: I had typed in, in detail, the issue when I requested the chat session.

{ 6:44:48 PM} When the laptop goes to Stand By mode, it sometimes fails to work, and the hard drive keep spinning, and the fan keeps spinning, and it gets extremely hot.
{ 6:45:08 PM} When I try to open the lid to restart, it fails to restart, and has to be hard-shutdown (by holding the power key for 7-10 seconds).
{Abhishek_Punj 6:45:10 PM} Please give me a minute to review your question and in the mean time can you please verify the system shipping address and the telephone number.
{ 6:45:27 PM} [**** Blanketyblank Ave, Sometown, CA 99999
1-999-555-5555
{Abhishek_Punj 6:45:47 PM} Thank you for the information.Please stay online.
{ 6:45:52 PM} Okay.
{Abhishek_Punj 6:46:05 PM} If I understand the issue correctly your system is getting hot.
{ 6:46:11 PM} No.
{ 6:46:18 PM} The problem is that the Stand By doesn't work correctly.
{ 6:46:24 PM} And so it gets hot.
{ 6:46:30 PM} And doesn't restart correctly.
{ 6:46:39 PM} But the problem is that the Stand By mode doesn't work correctly.
{Abhishek_Punj 6:46:54 PM} May I provide you a website link through which with the help of some simple steps this issue can be resolved?
{ 6:47:03 PM} Absolutely not. Out of the question.
{ 6:47:07 PM} I have tried, and it's worthless.
{ 6:47:11 PM} No Help whatsoever.
{Abhishek_Punj 6:47:24 PM} Okay.
{Abhishek_Punj 6:48:24 PM} Please allow me a couple of minutes so that I will be able to provide you with the best resolution.
{ 6:48:29 PM} Fine.
{Abhishek_Punj 6:49:54 PM} Please click on start icon---click on control panel------click on power options.
{ 6:50:24 PM} I am there. Want me to click on the Hibernate tab?
{Abhishek_Punj 6:50:39 PM} Yes.
{ 6:50:45 PM} What next?
{Abhishek_Punj 6:50:50 PM} Click the Start button.
Click Control Panel.
Click Performance and Maintenance.
Click Power Options.
Click the Hibernate tab.
Click to select the Enable hibernate support check box.
Click the Apply button.
Click the Power Schemes tab.
Click the drop down arrow next to System hibernates and select the amount of time to wait before the system hibernates.
Click the Apply button.
Click the OK button.
{ 6:51:54 PM} Did all that. You do realize the problem is with Stand By, and not Hibernate, right?
{ 6:52:11 PM} By the way, Hibernate has ALWAYS been enabled on my computer, since the day I got it.
{Abhishek_Punj 6:52:46 PM} Daniel, hibernate and stand by is the same thing.
{ 6:53:13 PM} Okay, if you say so. Suspect that Microsoft would create two different functions to do the same thing, but okay. What next?
{Abhishek_Punj 6:56:10 PM} Under the Power Schemes tab, change the setting for Turn off hard disks to Never by clicking on the .
Click on OK .
{ 6:57:09 PM} Okay -- for "Plugged In", "Running on Batteries", or both?
{Abhishek_Punj 6:57:29 PM} Both.
{ 6:57:35 PM} Okay.
What next?
{Abhishek_Punj 6:58:03 PM} Please restart the system to resolve the issue.
{ 6:58:40 PM} Okay. I'll restart.
{Abhishek_Punj 6:58:59 PM} Please let me know, are you chatting with the same system?
{ 6:59:09 PM} No. I am on another computer.
{Abhishek_Punj 6:59:16 PM} Okay.
{ 7:01:37 PM} Okay, it's restarted. What now?
{Abhishek_Punj 7:02:02 PM} Please confirm if the issue is resolved or not?
{ 7:03:00 PM} No, it isn't resolved.
{Abhishek_Punj 7:03:08 PM} Okay,
{Abhishek_Punj 7:04:44 PM} [dangr], we need to perform the repair utility to resolve this issue.Is this comfortable with you?
{ 7:05:26 PM} Not if it's the same stuff I already did earlier with the phone representatives. What, specifically, is it?
{Abhishek_Punj 7:06:36 PM} Daniel, this utility is specially designed to tackle with the loopholes in the operating system and to handle with the errors and drivers conflicts.
{ 7:07:07 PM} Fine. How do I get to it?
{Abhishek_Punj 7:07:26 PM} May I provide you a website link through which with the help of some simple steps repair utility can be performed?
{ 7:08:08 PM} NO. ABSOULTELY NOT. You asked me this before, and I said no. The same answer applies now. Help me if you can, or tell me who I talk to next if you cannot help me.
{Abhishek_Punj 7:10:36 PM} Perform the Repair Reinstall
1.Reboot your computer with the Windows XP CD in the CD drive.
2.The following message will appear on a black screen with white letters:
Press any key to boot from the CD.
3.Press the to boot to the Windows XP CD.
4.After several moments of initializing some modules, the Windows XP Setup screen will appear.
5.Press the key.
6.The Windows XP Licensing Agreement appears.
7.Read the license agreement.
8.Press the key to agree.
9.Setup will search for previous versions of Windows.
10.Press the key to repair.
11.Click the Next button.
12.Setup will continue to install files.
13.After several minutes the Welcome to Microsoft Windows window appears.
14.Click the Next button.
15.Click the Next button.
{ 7:10:59 PM} Fine. Please hold while I do these things.
{ 7:11:06 PM} NO!
{Abhishek_Punj 7:11:08 PM} [dangr], I have typed the steps for your satisfaction.
{ 7:11:15 PM} Actually, I don't have a Windows XP CD.
{ 7:11:28 PM} It has been years since WIndows XP CDs shipped with computers, and this is no exception.
{ 7:11:35 PM} I did not receive a Windows XP CD.
{Abhishek_Punj 7:11:45 PM} Not to worry.I will send you the cd to resolve the issue.Is this comfortable with you?
{ 7:12:43 PM} Okay. To be honest, no, I'm not happy with this or comfortable with this approach, but I seem to have little choice, since it appears to be a mystery to Dell tech support that XP CDs don't ship with Dell computers.
So, yes, send me the CD.
{ 7:13:03 PM} Want my address?
{Abhishek_Punj 7:13:08 PM} Please provide me the following details,
1) Complete address (with zip code)
2) Land line telephone number
3) Cell phone number if the landline phone number is not available
{ 7:14:19 PM} [dangr]
12345 Somestreet
Apt. #**
Salt Lake City, UT 841**

landline phone: 999-555-5555
cell phone: 999-555-5555

{Abhishek_Punj 7:15:44 PM} Thank you for the information.Please allow me some time so that I will give you the dispatch number.
{ 7:16:01 PM} I'll wait.
{Abhishek_Punj 7:16:44 PM} Thank you for being online.
{ 7:17:13 PM} It was not a pleasure.
Is that all?
{Abhishek_Punj 7:17:07 PM} The dispatch number is 063****** and you will get the cd with in 48 hours.
{Abhishek_Punj 7:17:51 PM} Is there anything else I may assist you with today?
{ 7:18:22 PM} Not unless you can actually help with my problem, short of me having that CD. Can you?
{Abhishek_Punj 7:20:01 PM} If you want then i can call you back after when you received the cd to confirm that if the issue is resolved or not.
{ 7:20:37 PM} Ummmm, yeah. Sure. Go ahead. I'll be absolutely shocked if this solves the problem, but sure, call me back. I look forward to it.
{Abhishek_Punj 7:20:57 PM} Please provide me your contact number.
{ 7:21:44 PM} Did you not get it when I provided it seven minutes ago?
Here it is again:
landline phone: 999-555-5555
cell phone: 999-555-5555
{Abhishek_Punj 7:21:55 PM} Thank you for the information.
{ 7:22:12 PM} I'm tickled to provide it. Call the cell phone number first, okay?
{Abhishek_Punj 7:22:40 PM} Not to worry.If the issue is not resolved then I will give you a system exchange if you want.
{ 7:22:59 PM} That would be lovely. Thanks. I look forward to your phone call.
{Abhishek_Punj 7:23:29 PM} Thank you,Daniel.It was a pleasure chatting with you.
{Abhishek_Punj 7:23:32 PM} Thank you for visiting Dell Technical
Support online chat and allowing me the opportunity to assist you. I have
included your case number to reference our interaction today. Please keep
this on file; it will assist you when contacting Dell Inc in the future.
Also, feel free to visit us again at
http://support.dell.com/support/topics/blahblahblahblahblahblahblah.html
{ 7:23:44 PM} The pleasure was all mine.
{ 7:23:49 PM} Really.
{Abhishek_Punj 7:24:13 PM} Yes, you are our privileged customer.
{ 7:24:32 PM} I'm ecstatic to hear that. Here, I thought I was just one of millions.
{Abhishek_Punj 7:26:06 PM} Thank you ,[dangr].
{ 7:26:26 PM} No, no: thank you, Abhishek_Punj.

At that point, I asked him if he'd noted in my case reference file that he'd offered to replace my computer if this didn't work, but, surprise surprise, he disconnected as I was sending it.