SURVEY! FACIAL HAIR!

Here's the thing: I think I look dorky with facial hair, but J likes it. My facial hair doesn't grow in uniformly, and the beard is now a mixture of brown, red, and silver. (Don't ask me why: my regular hair is all brown, all the time, with individual gray hairs just coming in.)

No, unlike A, who can go from clean-shaven to backwoods lumberjack complete with Elvis muttonchops in about three days, it takes me about three weeks of not shaving to get to this scraggly-ass goatee:


This is odd since all of my brothers are hairy beasts. Hmmmm. Mom, anything you want to tell me confidential-like? If so, please post in the comments section.

Enough family secrets, and back to the topic at hand: I did a series of shots while shaving the other day, and I want YOU, Dear Reader, to chime in on which you think looks best.


This is just shaving off the mustache which, while it might work when I'm rocking my singlespeed through local hipster strongholds L5P or EAV, is also the part that, as you can see above, looks the most 9th-graderish.


This is sort of a half-assed combination of chin puff plus soul patch.

Just soul patch (which I actually once wore back when I used to appear in court several times a week. But I also had hair down to my shoulder blades then, so it was, ahem, a different time.)

And what is probably my favorite, but also the most work: clean shaven.

Okay, readers: lemme know what you think! If there is a clear consensus, I'll even grow it out that way. Maybe.

What I Learned from this experiment: when you are taking flash pictures of yourself in the mirror, you have to squeeze your eyes VERY tightly closed. Shaving with little blinkie white spots floating in your vision ain't much fun.

UPDATE! A sent in this contribution to this post:

it's true... as an a bona fide, backwoods born Alaskan I can channel the spirit of the Devil's Club and mythic powers of the elusive Nagoonberry to produce this any time I take a particularly gruntworthy shit in the forest!

and attached this image of, ohhh, overnight growth:


Hey, is that a chipmunk I see hiding in there? ALVIN, ARE YOU OKAY?!?