Because everyone's hair is on fire over allegedly long security lines at airports, I showed up to Boston Logan airport 2.5 hours early. I then had one person in front of me in the security line, so I have some time to kill. The really intensive patdown and bag check after TSA's piece of shit machines flagged my bag for "explosive residue" did eat up about five minutes. Breakfast burritos strike again? I did receive excellent guest service from the lead TSO.
Anyway, I now have a couple hours to fill. I wanted some orange juice. But I didn't want to pay the outrageous prices. So instead I'm entertaining myself comparing the cost of bottles of orange juice in terminal C at Boston Logan international airport. For consistency's sake (and because this IS science, right)?), it is all 100% orange juice. All per ounce prices rounded to the nearest penny.
Green Express, gate C32
Tropicana 15.2oz, $2.99 ($0.20/oz)
Hudson News, gate C29
Simply Orange 11.5oz, $3.99 ($0.35/oz)
Minute Maid 15.2oz, $3.19 ($0.21/oz)
Go Go Stop, gate C29
Tropicana 12oz, $2.79 ($0.23/oz)
Wolfgang Puck Express, food court opposite gate C27
Simply Orange, 11.5oz, $2.79 ($0.24/oz)
Naked Juice, 15.2oz, $4.39 ($0.29/oz)
Johnny Rockets, food court opposite gate C27
Simply Orange, 11.5oz, $2.79 ($0.24/oz)
Hudson News, opposite food court / gate C26
Minute Maid 15.2oz, $3.19 ($0.21/oz)
Starbucks, mini food court near gate C10
Naked Juice, 15.2, $4.39 ($0.29/oz)
Hudson News, sorta near gate C8
Simply Orange 11.5oz, $3.99 ($0.35/oz)
Minute Maid 15.2oz, $3.19 ($0.21/oz)
Potbelly Sandwich, b/n gates C11 and C15
Tropicana 12oz, $2.35 ($0.20/oz)
Hudson News, gate C15
Minute Maid 15.2oz, $3.19 ($0.21/oz)
UFood Grill, gate C19
Tropicana, 10oz carton, $2.99 ($0.29/oz)
Dunkin Donuts, gate C20
Simply Orange, 11.5oz, $2.19 ($0.19/oz)
Conclusions? Well, you can draw some of your own. In short, Dunkies wins it, closely followed by Green Express, which of course has way shorter lines (or usually no line at all.)
And fuck you, Hudson News, since despite your virtual monopoly of airport convenience stores all over America, and the massive purchasing power you have as a result, you nevertheless sell the most expensive orange juice, by far, of anyone, including for crying out loud Starbucks.
And since 100% orange juice is regularly available at Boston area supermarkets (Star, Stop & Shop, etc) for $2.50 for a half gallon ($0.04/oz) and is rarely more than $3.99 for a half gallon ($0.06/oz) let's just call this all a gigantic ripoff facilitated by the asinine TSA prohibition against bringing in more than 3.2 fluid ounces of liquid toiletries, and more than 0.0 ounces of orange juice.
Baltimore, here I come!
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