Well, hooo, ha. Welcome to another new morning in america. Or probably just another four years of waking up from Nightmare on Elm Street reruns.

Actually, it seems appropriate that Halloween, with its cable television reruns of mediocre horror movies, comes so close to Election Day: I think that it's designed to break down our resistance to horrible, awful, unspeakable things happening.

I mean, look: what's worse?
1) Another four years of president George W. Motherfucker.
2) Innocent, naïve teens being massacred at an otherwise picturesque camp.

Duh.